Life (and death) Preparations

Well I can't believe this - I sat down and wrote a long post in this new editor and it is simply gone. How annoying. On the other hand it may well spare you ready a bit of sappy writing. Not totally mind you as here I am again but we all know how those rough drafts go - or not.

With everyone talking about New Year's Resolutions a while back and some conversation I can't remember coming up between my son and myself, my thoughts turned to preparing for the worst. Resolving perhaps to make sure the ones left behind have an easier time of it than they'd have if you simply fail to plan. Let's face it, no one wants to talk about it. To the extent all to often that a loved one dies and the bereaved find out nothing was done that should have been done, so now they have not just the grief to cope with but a huge mess to boot. Funeral plans no one thought to consider prior to the need. Financial issues of paperwork or money itself because no one wanted to think about morbid topics like dying. Once the person is dead it is too late but how many times do we hear, if only...

If only the house had been in both our names.

If only we had had mortgage insurance.

If only we had bought enough life insurance.

If only I knew where all the papers were or what bills we have the wife might say...

If only..

Let your new year resolution be to put the ax to as many of those "if only" types of statements as you can ahead of time. Have that impossible conversation. Think those impossible thoughts. If they died - what needs to be done, what needs to be in place?

My husband died in 1998. We had some time to prepare but many things we let slide, or it was too late once the diagnosis was made to change some things. Lapsed life insurance. A large mortgage. Debt. We thought he'd live forever and have a good retirement? Well yes we all do that don't we however life sometimes throws us a curveball.

I won't write about what to do as there are wonderful sites with more information you need than I could put here in a short time. My only hope is if you read this you will consider preparing for the worst. Take care of your loved ones. Don't let it slide. Start the new year out with taking care of those unpleasant things because you know what? Whether you want to talk about it or not, death comes to all of us.

Here's three blogs you can look at to start -
What You Need to Do Before you Go
5 Financial Lessons to Learn from Celebrity Deaths
Things I've Learned Losing A Parent

Morning Rambles

Snuggling down under the comforter with the cat, sleeping in seemed a good idea on this cold morning  (currently 25 out). Normally Su sleeps in nicely but this morning she got up and turned my light on. Dang it. While a touch lamp seemed a great idea Su quickly learned to turn it on when she wanted something. Like me out of bed. Nothing quite like a light coming on in the wee hours of the morning when it is totally dark to get up you fast. Now that it is obviously just Su not a midnight prowler I just groan and drag myself up.
Su out and Lucky-cat with her, it was time to tend to the rest before letting the two back inside. Precious (20yo ex-feral) was yowling for ( 1) attention (2) water (3) food, pick one or all.. she wanted water. There was water in her bowl mind you but it had been there all night. Eww yucky, old water. She wanted Fresh water. At least she no longer demands RO water like she did when we lived in the country and well water came from the tap.  Mellow cried to be let out. Fela sat patiently waiting for her treats. And Su wanted back in. Lucky was ‘knocking’ on the door (body slamming it) and I was trying to figure out why the coffee was not perking (ah.. it needs water in the reservoir not in the pot) ….
so begins the morning. Can I go back to bed  now?  Well no, the trash truck is coming.. sigh. I run out in bathrobe and the men kindly take the trash and even bring one of the trash cans back to the garage for me. Not their job but it is cold out and I am obviously not prepared for this. Greeting them, smiling and saying Thank you probably helps.
Everyone is back in, if not happy (make it Warm momma!) and the coffee is done, John’s up telling me his crazy dreams and I’m ready for for a morning nap.

A new year

It seems the last few posts were done on Woolgathering, with the dog as my subject. Life would have been simpler if I had not forgotten about starting a blog and later on started a blog only to find out it was the second one. At least they are with the same outfit! Oh yeah.. there's that third one too... Yes you can laugh at me, roll your eyes, whatever is your style. I'm unorganized and we all know it.

2010. It would be nice to have something memorable or philosophical to say about that number but mostly what I think is, remember the movie 2001? And how far into the future that seemed back then? And here we are pushing into that other year that is getting so much attention right now, 2012. More than likely when that year gets here, we will laugh about that one too.

Meanwhile, this blog needs a focus. Which is asking a lot of me these days but we shall see if over the next few weeks it can find one.

Meanwhile since the other blog has so many dog pics in it, let's go for a cat pic here. For better cat photos, check John's out. He has some beauties of Fela.

Su and the talking tree

I had to do it - we have no tree up but this thing was just sitting there in the garage begging to be used. It will be new to a couple of the cats as well but the first to take notice was Su, of course. She was very curious. No treats came out though so soon she walked off..

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Teaching Su to Howl

Well I can’t say it is working well.

We call it woo-wooing and she will do that at the boys on her own, if they are not pleasing her. Not saying Hi for instance when they walk in, or if they’ve been absent for a long time.

Now someone else whose name shall go unmentioned, taught Su to bark. This was funny for a long time as she had such problems doing it and usually only managed a very small noise. However now there are Corn Dogs!!! and she can bark really loud. Hence the effort to do the woo-woo thing..

James is in town and nearly every morning he gets Su a corndog. She loves loves loved corndogs. We make Su "work" for her food, sometimes telling her what we want, sometimes letting her offer behaviors. I decided a wooo instead of a bark would be a pleasant thing. Uh huh. Well first problem was getting Su to understand what was expected. She tried everything. Sneezes, bows, high fives, lie down, lie down all the way (flat on side), sit, bark, and all again... finally very perturbed Su yawned and made a soft sound at the end of it. It was almost a woo as so she got a treat.

That's when it got funny. Poor Su knew she'd done something that got her a bit of corndog but naturally enough she was not sure what. She tried all her tricks, then tried yawning. Nope. Yawned again with a slight yodel behind it, Yes! I got out the clicker - something I should have done to begin with - and we kept trying. Su still is not quite clear on what sound to make and continues to try yawns but she is doing better. This morning when James came in she really got going, sneeze/snorting at him and finally woo-wooing for her corn dog.

Wish I had pics of her working this out. It was too funny. Also so interesting to watch as she tried yawns and noises to see what worked to get the corn dog. At the moment she’s giving us a real grrowly rwoo.. which works for me. It makes us laugh. That's what I love about clicker training. It gets the dog to thinking, not just waiting for the next order. And it is a lot of fun for the people involved as well.

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added later.. a video of Su trying to figure out what James wants. You can't hear her she makes her noise so softly but he can.. so she gets a treat:

No photographer am I

photography is fun but definitely not my strong point. Son gave me a nice camera that is not used to create the shots it could create by a long shot. Nope. I just point and shoot. Told him what I need is a camera that is fast for pet photos but not the huge megapixels so sought after as I'm only going to put it on the web, so make it cheap! Oh well. What I have is the cheapest I'm going to get, as I did not pay for it!

He sees the most interesting things while I on the same walk, see nothing to snap a photo of.. oh me such is life. Check out his blogs for pics..

So I'm thinking, how is it I can enjoy something so much but have absolutely no talent for it? Rather like taking art lessons when you really can't paint, or music lessons when you have no "ear" for it.. it is not all a lost cause. You learn to see the world around you in a new way which increases your own pleasure, even if your photos still aren't worth much. :)

Java Chillers! oh yummm

Love Sonic’s java chillers. Not great for the budget or waistline but my oh my, good in the mouth. Su-dog thinks so too!

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Fall returns to West Texas

Cool nights and cool mornings. Open doors and open windows. Dog walks on the river are pleasant again.

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Home, Sweet Home

Or that is the idea anyway. So, a long flight with two layovers, screaming children kicking the back of the seat, no sleep the night before and no nap on the plane, I get home to a soggy bedroom carpet. Oh the joys of home ownership!

Granted, my son had done his best and we' had talked about it on the phone. The plan to get new floor covering for living room/hall etc will just have to expand to include the bedroom. Rats. Nothing like getting up in the night to use the bathroom and stepping on cold wet carpet! LOL. Used the shopvac and pulled it back but still there was enough dampness to get my attention. The dog didn't much like it either. She'd been sleeping on the sofa but with me home she had to sleep on the floor by my bed. Poor Su. True love is giving up the comfy sofa to be near mom on a slightly wet carpet.

I left home in mid May, so it has been a while not counting the short weekend back at the end of May. It is good to be home though I do worry about mom there in SC. We had a nice visit. Did not do a lot but stay at the house, eat, sleep, watch tv. I understand that works well for mom but must confess I found it rather slow.

One weekend we went up to the mountains. I had planned on a short vacation with an old college friend. We wanted to do the raft and rail thing in the NC mountains (Nantahala river, Bryson City, Nantahala Outdoor Center providing raft and guides) and figured mom might like part of that as well. Big sis and her husband came along, so they and mom simply did the train ride. I went with my friend and two more on the train one way with them then the four of us came back down via raft. What fun! It's an easy river, suited for families and people like us just out to have a good time. We started planning our next vacation together that afternoon as we enjoyed our time together so much.

Now it's time for me to get back to jail ministry, the Christian Women's Job Corps, and a bit of geocaching! And perhaps a bit of sub work to pay for the extras. Like carpet.

Slough of Despond

Well, I have avoided posting due to being in such a depressed state of mind. Oh I thought about it but had nothing positive to say! Things happen that cause sadness, that can't be undone, that one must simply come to terms with in time. I fight the battle of beating myself up - blame, guilt, feelings of worthlessness. Age old battle but occasionally things occur that ramp it up to a level I can barely deal with so.... back to Zoloft.

Coming home often brings me down but this time another incident was added to the mix. So here I am, just hanging in there, knowing that while there will always be a sadness that it will lessen with that great healer time.

Summer here in the countryside of South Carolina passes slowly. Mom shows signs of age and that makes me sad as well.

Gray day

Sometimes, life just sucks.

And that's my big thought for the day.

East Coast, again...

Well here I am again in South Carolina. Flew in to Charleston's airport and have been staying in Sommerville this weekend past. Today will be on my way upcountry to visit my mother for a while. My head is beginning to spin! One coast to another is not my usual thing, LOL, but it sure was fun. Such a difference in weather too. Love that southern CA coolness, yet now I am in the coastal SC region I must admit that heat feels pretty fine too. My friend here thinks I am nuts. Give me a few days and perhaps I will agree with her.

California!

We made it! Drove over 800 miles yesterday so got in today around noon. My daughter's new landlord was here to meet us and do the walk-thru. She is such a nice person! Actually it is a couple but he was working. My daughter has met both already. I was pleased to meet at least one of them. She brought some household items so we would have all we need while waiting for the mover's to arrive with said daughter's possessions, and also some food stuffs! So thoughtful! The condo is lovely. I think this will be a great place to live.

Now, California. Well, the last time I came here by car I was a young child so there's no memories of it at all. The last time I visited was by plane so only saw the coastal area, San Francisco and Long Beach. I must say, coming in from the east it is not too impressive, unless you are impressed by really huge sand dunes, and small mountains that consist of boulders. Then farm fields and what looked like scrubby arid lands a bit worse than some of West Texas. Finally we reached Vista and met the traffic. Oh my. I just do not know if I could ever do this! Or at least, not willingly for long! Zoom zoom indeed. Thankgoodness I did not have to drive.

The kid's at work, the cat is in hiding, and I'm holding down the fort. Drinking coffee and talking to folks back home and others that is, enjoying the pleasant weather and not being in a car.

Check out these sand dunes. People were riding bikes out there. Probably fourwheelers too but we only saw bikes.

and rocks! Oh my goodness, rocks.. mountains made of ROCKS!

Then it got uglier before we finally reached the city of our destination, as I said. No pics of that, I was nearly asleep. And no pics of this lovely apartment as it is not mine. So that's all for now!

Arizona

We made it quite a ways today, further than we thought when we started out this morning in San Angelo. It was still fairly early (not quite six) when we went through Tucson. So here we are at Gila Bend, Arizona. Long stretches of desert and hills in the background. Rather pretty in its own way.

We've made good use of google's number to call for businesses like hotels. Am so glad my son told me about that! We just call up and ask for the hotel of our choice in whatever city and get connected. Much nicer to know where you are going to stay and if they take cats than to wait til you drive up to figure it out.

The gps is getting a workout finding caches, but it doesn't do bad at finding gas stations either. Which is a lot of help when the distances can be so long between towns along I-8.

The cat we are taking to California is a quiet rider. In fact I have to keep feeling under the seat to assure myself she is still with us. Once in a while we can hear her purr!

Here's a couple of photos we grabbed along the way while driving..

New Mexico. .. much prettier seeing the real thing than in this picture..

Tucson had really gussied up their overpasses and bridges.. missed all but this one shot:

and the last cache of the day gave up this picture:

Texas!!

Back home in Texas for a quick stopover. Dropping off two cats and picking up one to take to California. Nice to have a day to just relax and visit out of this long road journey. John baked us cherry tarts and then cooked a great supper of mahi-mahi tonight. I did a few things here, got to visit with one friend and never did call mom! Oops. Well she's getting daily emails. Tomorrow morning we head west, and hope our first stop will be in Tucson. The next night should see us in California!

Back in Ohio

We had a lovely visit in South Carolina. Saw my sister and brother, well one of them, and aunt. Mostly spent lazy days in the country with mom. The time passed by quickly. Well it wasn't but five full days there!
We made a fast trip (not speedwise but no stopping to sightsee) back to Ohio. Good weather all the way and lovely scenery. I particularly liked the farms in one valley along a river. Large barns and silos, wide green fields with mountains behind them. Picture book sights almost in many cases. We made one stop for a cache with a nice overlook. While we did not find the cache we did get a picture!

*which somehow disappeared so had to be edited and the big blank spot taken out!

Not at home

Boy do I miss my "stuff", even if it isn't fancy stuff, LOL. Have been to Ohio, am in SC, am soon going back to Ohio, then down to Texas, then... well anyway... about half the time won't have internet. So even though I have nothing to say, I'd better say it!

No thoughts, just hanging out. Watching Golden Girls with Mom. Visiting sis, brother, aunt. Listening to the crazy cur dog here bark like mad, thinking how every dog has some issue or other. Generally, the owner only puts up with what the owner can put up with so for them, it's good. However others have different things they don't like and do, so sometimes for them, it's not so good. Life is like that!

Same with people. Everyone's busy with their busies and happy for it. While others think that person should not be doing that or should be doing this - but that whatever they do is just fine. Or if they admit it isn't it's a matter of well it's my stuff and I'm good with that. But you need to change, LOL.

Aren't we a mess though?

Virginia and the Blue Ridge

The first day out on our trip we reached the Skyline Pkwy, which is a National Park. The day was overcast and threatened to rain most of the time. Even so the drive was lovely - and we took many piictures. Our second day was spent on the Blue Ridge Parkway. I had never seen this part of the country before. What a treat even if it was terribly overcast!

There were bikers and hikers on the road with us (bicycle, but also motorcycles of course) and we marvelled at their being out there in such weather. I suppose if you truly love a sport a bit of rain, coolness and gray days make no difference. We stopped too see a small waterfall.

While like everyone else we had always thought of making a drive like this in the fall to see the 'colors' I must admit it was worth it even in the gray spring. Maybe one day we can make a return trip in the fall some day. Here is one shot, that shows so well why these mountains are called the Smokies.

and a few more shots - azaleas and a newt? and some other flower...

On the road again

Back in Ohio... first stage of a long trip. Yesterday had a long day at the airports. Storms caused flight delays everywhere. My flight out was delayed, the next one missed, the next two full, but space remained on one going to a nearby location. Stacey drove there to get me. Arrival went from 7 pm to just past midnight! Slept good last night anyway, LOL. Leave here tomorrow, sightseeing our way to SC to some degree or other depending on weather.

Here's Pris. She will miss us while we are gone. But has Mello for company. (Another cat).. then they will get to enjoy a long car drive later in the month.

On the road again (soon)

The last month the mind has not wandered much. Rather tired, busy and contemplating another long trip away from home, indeed the days have been enough to keep me from much mental wondering. Which is a wonder in itself.

There is one thing that does stand out though through all this – my reluctance to leave home.  When others have said such I thought what a stay at home! Go nowhere? How dull! Yet the older I get,  the more I align myself with them.  Is it age alone, a lack of energy, being ever so comfortable in my own place? Will I actually reach a stage of saying No, thanks for the thought but I’ll just stay at home? That’s a bit scary.  Is that a common thing I wonder?

We have a lot planned. A flight to Ohio,  trip to SC and a visit there with stops along the way, back to Ohio then off to California. Maybe thinking about it makes me tired ahead of time. However I do want to go and know that once gone – once on the plane flying above Texas – all reluctance will fade away leaving nothing but anticipation for the time to come.